Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Simplicity At Its Best!!

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg Times newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on : "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead  of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1>> million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered. Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage. Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes... Mr. President, while you're at it, make congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto! If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not, please disregard and......

WOW!!!! Seriously, I think this would work!!!

Need a Nap?

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home, and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and  resumed his spot in the hall, and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is, and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap. The next day, he arrived for his nap with a different note pinned to his collar 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Perfect Poem

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all
nor the lights or its decor
But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice..
Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell
was sitting pretty on cloud nine
and looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, "what's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made some mistake.
And why is everyone so quiet,
so somber, give me a clue."
"Hush, child" He said, "they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you."
Going to church doesn't
make you a Christian any more
than standing in your garage
makes you a car.
Every saint has a PAST...
Every sinner has a FUTURE!
Alright, this is just to share some of the crazy emails I get almost on a daily basis. Some are funny, some are religous, and some are just the truth. Instead of flooding everybody elses email I'm going to be posting them on here. Enjoy, lol!!